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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28954422">I Look Into Your Eyes, And The Skies The Limit I'm Helpless!</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/HangInThereSayori/pseuds/HangInThereSayori'>HangInThereSayori</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Hamilton - Miranda, Hunter X Hunter</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alluka is Eliza, Alluka is Helpless sparkles emoji idk, Alluka's point of view, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Hamilton Lyrics, Hamilton References, I broke into song writing this at 2 AM, Kalluto is Peggy, Killua is Angelica, Marriage, Marriage Proposal, Multi, Next chapter is Killua's pov, Trans Character, first person POV, how do i tag shuoagshohd, no nen, second chapter is very angsty, song lyric fic</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 05:40:59</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,481</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28954422</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/HangInThereSayori/pseuds/HangInThereSayori</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>It only took one party for Alluka Zoldyck to become Helpless. While her brother on the other hand will never be Satisfied.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Gon Freecs &amp; Alluka Zoldyck, Gon Freecs/Killua Zoldyck</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>9</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>I rolled my eyes to the ceiling as my mother kept yelling at me to wear the ugly dress she got me. It was an ugly shade of green, and I didn't like it. But enough about the dress, this is my story. My name is Alluka Zoldyck. I am one of the many children from the rich family known as the Zoldycks. We always throw parties in the Winter, because mother said, "It's the time where men/women come out and dress up," and, "It's a family tradition!" Who cares? Traditions are just pressure from dead people!</p><p>My mother kept going on about how the party is in 2 hours and im already 20 and i still haven't found a lover. Gosh, how I hated her. I hated how she expected me to fall in love. When im only 20!! </p><p>Anyways, I was basically forced into putting on the dress. But before we knew it, 2 hours had passed and the ballroom was already being filled with guests. As i was walking down the stairs with 2 of my siblings, my sibling Kalluto brought up a man's name. "Cheer up Alluka!! I heard Gon Freeccss will be here!" Both me and my brother blushed at those words. I only knew about this 'Gon' guy because my friends couldn't stop talking about how handsome he was. I racked up a pretty good image of how he was supposed to look like in my head.</p><p>We got downstairs and head for the dance floor. I myself never learned to dance, but my brother Killua did. So you know that everyone was looking at him busting some moves!<br/>I just stand near the fruit punch while my sibling Kalluto munches on some cookies. I never liked being the in the spotlight. I always felt that my siblings deserved the place. Anyways, i decided to start walking around to see everyone. </p><p>And then i bumped into someone. I look up and see the most prettiest Hazel brown eyes I've ever seen. It was a man. He had spiky green-ish black hair. he looked really dreamy. I got up and brushed myself off. "Im really sorry I bumped into you! I didn't mean to!" I apologized. He replied, "It's okay. Are you hurt?". I shook my head and he walked off. </p><p>After that whole incident, I ran over to my brother. Almost tripping 3 times (Stupid high heels!!!). I grabbed him and whispered into his ear.</p><p> </p><p>"Yo, this one's mine."</p><p>He looked at me, and he looked back at the spiky haired guy, and then he looked at me with a mischievous smirk. He made his way across the ballroom to the man.</p><p>I got really nervous thinking what he was going to do!!!</p><p> </p><p>I watched as he grabbed the man's arm. He was talking to him!! At this moment I was ready to start crying, but before i could start.</p><p>The man looked at me, and I suddenly felt... Helpless? I can't really describe the feeling. </p><p>Kalluto was right next to me hold a plate with a piece of cake on it.</p><p>I grabbed them by their shoulders and smiled!! I was so happy I could die!!! I could tell Kalluto was confused.</p><p>But that didn't matter! I have a chance to fall in love! And my mother would stop bugging me!! Wow. I haven't mentioned my mother in such a long time.</p><p>I was too focused on the man's eyes (whose name was Gon) to notice that they were coming my way!</p><p> </p><p>"Where are you taking me?" Gon asked.</p><p>"i'm about to change you life!" My brother replied with a smile.</p><p>"Then by all means, lead the way." Gon chuckled.</p><p> </p><p>10 seconds later, and I was face to face with the most handsome man I had ever seen!!</p><p>"Alluka Zoldyck. It's a pleasure to meet you!" I said. Obviously blushing.</p><p>"Zoldyck?" Gon said with a questiony tone.</p><p>"My sister." My brother replied.</p><p>"Thank you, for all your service." I literally don't know this man or what he worked for, I just said whatever my mind thought of.</p><p>"If it takes fighting a war for us to meet, it will have been worth it." Gon said, smiling innocently.</p><p>"I'll leave you to it." Killua (My brother!!) said with a soft smile, he walks away.</p><p>Gon and I chat for what seems to me like hours!!!</p><p> </p><p>- 1 week later -</p><p>I wrote letters to him every day!! Now my life gets better with every letter he writes me!!</p><p> </p><p>I laughed at my brother. He had said such a silly thing!!</p><p>"I'm just saying if you really love me you would share him." My brother teased.</p><p>"Ha!" (I actually said 'Ha!")</p><p> </p><p>- Two weeks later -</p><p>I forgot to tell my father about Gon. So once I told him, he was angry and proud at the same time? I really don't know. It was confusing.</p><p>My father demanded he meets this guy. So i told Gon and he said "sure".</p><p> </p><p>I sat on the couch, slowly dying inside, as my father sat in his chair stone faced while Gon asked for his blessing. I tried not to cry, there was not that Gon couldn't do!!</p><p>Suddenly, my father gets up from his chair and walks across the room to Gon. I start panicking thinking we we through!! But then, he shakes his hand and says "Be true.".</p><p>And Gon turned back at me smiling and I ran into his arms saying I was Helpless! In my mind I was saying things like "That boy is mine!" or, "I look into your eyes and the skies the limit!"</p><p>I was down for the count, literally drowning in it!</p><p>It was a cold 50 degrees spring day. We were walking in the park, when all of a sudden, Gon grabs my shoulders and puts right in front of him. </p><p>"Alluka, I don't have a dollar to my name, an acre of land, a troop to command, a dollop of fame. All I have is my honor, a tolerance for pain. A couple of college credits and my top notch brain. Insane! Your family brings out a different side of me! Kalluto confides in me! Killua tried to take a bite of me! No stress. My love for you is never in doubt! We'll get a little place in York New and we'll figure it out! I've been living without a family since I was a child. My father left. My mother died. I grewup buck wild, but I'll never forget my mother's face that was real. As long as I'm alive, Alluka, swear to god you'll never feel so-" I cut Gon off before he can finish his proposal.</p><p> </p><p>"I do! I do! I do! I do!" I squealed while hugging my fiance!</p><p>"Alluka. I've never felt so-"</p><p>I cut him off again.</p><p>"Yeah! I'm down for the count I'm!!"</p><p>"My life is gon' be fine cause Alluka's in it!" Gon said.</p><p>"I look into your eyes and the skies the limit-"</p><p>I broke into song.</p><p>"I'm down for the count, and I'm drowning in em!"</p><p> </p><p>the day of the wedding, May 10th. It was a perfect day, birds chirping, flowers already in full bloom. </p><p>Everyone was there. His family, my family. His friends, my friends. Everyone!</p><p>I heard some people singing a long the lines of:</p><p>"In York New you can be a new man."<br/>"In York New you can be a new man."<br/>"In York New you can be a new, man."</p><p>They stopped singing right as I got close enough to finally say what I've meaning to say since day 1.</p><p> </p><p>"Helpless..." I whispered so only Gon could hear.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. May You Always, Be Satisfied..!</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Killua rewinds time to see what exactly happened in the span of 3 months.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hello!!! Make sure to read chapter one :)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>After they kissed and were officially married, my sibling, Kalluto, pulled me aside.</p><p> </p><p>"Hey, do you wanna make a toast for Alluka and her husband? If you don't want to, that's fine. I'll do it myself." Kalluto asked me.</p><p>"Sure! Nothing could go wrong!" I responded with a smile.</p><p>Kalluto shrugged. </p><p>I filled a glass up, and walked over to where everyone could see me.</p><p>"Alright! Alright! That's what i'm talking about! Now everyone give it up! For the sibling of honor, Killua Zoldyck!" Kalluto yelled, giving me a go-ahead.</p><p>"A toast to the Groom!" I said, pointing the glass to Gon.</p><p>'To the Groom! To the Groom! To the Groom!" The men followed me by pointing their glasses at Gon, wine spilling all over the floor.</p><p>"To The Bride!" I said, smiling softly to Alluka. Shifting the glass so it points to her.</p><p>"To the Bride! To The bride!" The women yelled, copying my actions.</p><p>"From your brother!"</p><p> </p><p>"Killua! Killua!" Everyone yelled. </p><p>"Who's always by your side!" I said. Not doing any hand motions this time.</p><p>"By your side! By your side!" Everyone, including my family, yelled.</p><p>"To your union!"</p><p>"To the union! To the revolution!" I've lost track of who was saying what when this happened.</p><p>"And the hope that you provide!" I said holding the glass to the ceiling.</p><p>"You provide! You provide!" I heard Alluka singing along.</p><p>"May You Always, Be Satisfied..!" </p><p>Everyone stopped singing, right after I said that. I just thought.</p><p>How did it end up like this?</p><p>My glass drops to the floor, shattering. Everyone looks at me. I look around.</p><p>I feel the sudden urge to throw up. </p><p>I run out of the wedding, to go outside.</p><p>And at that moment, it felt like everything around me was rewinding. </p><p>I remember that night. I just might rewind.</p><p>I remember that night, I just might regret that night for the rest of my days. I remember those soldier boys, tripping over themselves to win our praise. I remember that dreamlike candlelight, like a dream that you can't quite place.</p><p>But Gon, I'll never forget the first time I saw your face.</p><p>I have never been the same. Intelligent eyes, and a hunger pang frame. And when you said, "Hi!" I forgot my dang name. Set my heart aflame. every part aflame. </p><p>This is not a game.</p><p>And suddenly, I felt like I could just hear his voice. As if he was right next to me. </p><p> </p><p>I start saying what he told me on that regretful night.</p><p>"You strike me, as a man who's never been Satisfied."</p><p>I'm sure I don't know what you mean. You forget yourself.</p><p>"Your like me. I'm never Satisfied."</p><p>Is that right?</p><p>"I've never been Satisfied."</p><p>Pfft. My name Killua Zoldyck.</p><p>"Gon Freeccs."</p><p>Where's your family from?</p><p>"Unimportant. There's a million things I haven't done. But just you wait, just you wait.</p><p>So, so, so! So this what it feels like to match wits, with someone at your level! What the hell is the catch? It's the feeling of freedom of seeing the light! It's Ben Franklin with a key and a kite! You see it right? </p><p>The conversation lasted two minutes! Maybe three minutes? Everything we said in total agreement! It's a dream, and it's a bit of a dance! A bit of a posture, it's a bit of a stance! He's a bit of a flirt, but I'mma give it a chance! I asked about his family, did you see his answer? His hands started fidgeting, he looked askance. He's penniless, he's flying from the seat of his pants.</p><p>Handsome! Boy does he know it! Peach fuzz, and he can't even grow it! I wanna take far away from this place! Then I turn and see my sister's face, and she is-</p><p>"Helpless!"</p><p>And I know, she is-</p><p>"Helpless!"</p><p>And her eyes, are just-</p><p>"Helpless!"</p><p>And I realize, three fundamental truths at the exact same time!</p><p>"Where are you taking me?"</p><p>I'm about to change your life!</p><p>"Then by all means, lead the way!"</p><p>Number 1!</p><p>I'm a boy in a world in which my only job is to marry rich! My father has no sons, so I'm the one who has to social climb for one! So I'm the oldest, and the wittiest, and the gossip in York New City is insidious! And Gon is penniless! Ha! That doesn't mean I want him any less.</p><p> </p><p>"Alluka Zoldyck! It's a pleasure to meet you!"</p><p>"Zoldyck?"</p><p>My sister.</p><p>Number 2!</p><p>He's after me! Cause i'm a Zoldyck sibling, that elevates his status! I'd, have to be naive to set that aside! Maybe that is why. I introduce him to Alluka, now that's his bride! Nice going, Killua, he was right! You will never be Satisfied.</p><p>"Thank you for all your service!"</p><p>"If it takes fighting a war for us to meet, it will have been worth it."</p><p>I'll leave you to it.</p><p>Number 3!</p><p>I know my Sister like I know my own mind! You will never find, anyone as trusting, or as kind! If I tell her that I love him, she'd be silently resigned! He'd be mine! She  would say I'm fine! She'd be lying!</p><p>But when I fantasize at night, It's Gon's eyes. As I romanticize, what might've been, if I hadn't sized.. him up so quickly..</p><p>At least my dear Alluka's his wife..</p><p>At least I keep his eyes in my life.</p><p>I got off the grass I was sitting on. I raced back inside, quickly filling up a glass. Once I had everyone's attention. I began blessing them again.</p><p> </p><p>"To the Groom!" I yelled, tears streaming down my face already.</p><p>"To The Groom! To the Groom! To the Groom!" The men cheered back.</p><p>'To the bride!" I said, fully crying. </p><p>"To the Bride! To the Bride! To the Bride!" The women cheered back.</p><p>"From your brother!" I yelled, into the crowd.</p><p>"Killua! Killua!" The crowd cheered.</p><p>"Who's always by your side!" I sang out loud.</p><p>"By your side! By your side!" By this point, everyone sang.</p><p>"May You Always, Be Satisfied..!"</p><p>I drank the wine, and head back outside. I sat in the same spot. My tears still dripping down my face. I continued to race through my thoughts.</p><p>"And I know... She'll be happy as his Bride! And I know..... He will never be Satisfied.. I will never be Satisfied..." I sang weakly. Finally breaking down into a mess.</p><p>But right as soon as i started crying, I heard footsteps behind me. I look over my shoulder to see Kalluto.</p><p>They walked over and sat next to me.</p><p>"Hey, I noticed you were crying. is anything wrong?" They asked.</p><p>"No. I'm fine." I replied.</p><p>"You sure?" They asked me again.</p><p>"I'm sure" I reassured them.</p><p>"Okay. Whatever you say." They told me.</p><p> </p><p>I know I'm supposed to be happy for Alluka, she is my sister after all. But, I can't shake the feeling of being jealous. I was always the center of attention, it was weird to be second place for once.</p><p>I guess this is the end for me. Looks like I didn't get a happily ever after, after all.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hello!!! My fanfics are heavily inspired by the Musical Hamilton :&gt;</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Second fanfic! based on my hc on twitter!! twitter.com/InSayori/status/1331048081664577537 :D next chapter will probs be sad idk</p></blockquote></div></div>
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